Fan Palms..that is...
so I read story about the Libbey creek restoration project in Ojai...some biologists are going to spend tax money to remove "nonnative, invasive" species..(where have I heard that before?)..among the demon species they list as bad are Mexican Fan Palms. The story was in OVN and the head biologist is Brian Holly..let me break it to you Bri...the restoration is a scam but somehow you managed to convince the city council, Fish and Game, and private property owners in Ojai that it will benefit the creek habitat. Ok, so I got no problem with you planting sycamores and other non-bastard trees, but I do have a problem with you ripping out Mexican Fan Palms and deporting them..why? I'll tell you why: THEY ARE HOME TO HOODED ORIOLES EVERY SPRING!! GODDAMMIT..LEAVE 'EM ALONE!!!!!!!!! GOT IT BRI...LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!
They know, they just know where to grow, how to dupe you, and how to camouflage themselves among the perfectly respectable plants, they just know, and therefore, I've concluded weeds must have brains. ~Dianne Benson, Dirt, 1994
Next, the Mexican fan palms are not nonnative as you claim..Ojai was a Spanish/Mexican land grant so the only non-natives in this story are the boobs "restoring" Libbey Creek!! Now, a preventive maintenance program will keep arundo and other fast growing plants under control, but you guys are intent on poisoning the watershed instead of doing some once-a-year manual labor..lazy bums!!
This next year I will step up efforts to stop you fools from destroying habitats to save them..I will sing the glories of non native species and lobby elected officials, bribe them with gifts and cakes..anything..to get them to open their eyes to these wasteful restoration projects by over-educated dog-walking gardeners...nature knows best what belongs where, not them...
But make no mistake: the weeds will win; nature bats last. ~Robert M. Pyle
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