all you need is hate...

hate, hate, hate is all you need!
Mayor (Helene, you're the mayor now, mesmerize with a bit more cleavage please! and excellent job on your first day as mayor) and new old council members sworn in..speeches made, Mike (Miss Piggy) Self and Frank (Naked Gun) Hotchkiss couldn't figure out how to turn their microphones on..duh! this damn new technology must have them confused so I'll help out..
　
how microphones work: A microphone begins with a metal diaphragm that bends back and forth when it is struck by sound waves. When it bends in, it is called compression. When it bends out it is called rarefaction. The metal diaphragm is negatively charged from the battery (or power source), while the fixed plate (situated close to the diaphragm) is positively charged. When the sound wave creates compression, electrons jump from the diaphragm to the fixed plate. This causes a positive signal to be sent from the microphone.
When there is no sound, the diaphragm is flat. At this point its negatively charge exactly balances the positive charge of the fixed plate. When rarefaction (not really a rare occurance) takes place, the negatively charged metal diaphragm moves away from the fixed plate. Then the negative electrons in the diaphragm repel each other and the flow out of the diaphragm, causing an opposite flow of electrons from the flow that occurs in compression.
These signals are exactly in phase and amplitude to the sound waves hitting the diaphragm. They are usually sent to an amplifier for further processing.
now, none of this means anything unless you TURN THE MICROPHONE SWITCH "ON" DUMB ASSES..geez, this is gonna be a long hot and hate-filled political season if these two can't keep up with the youngsters!
if you can't be with the one you hate, hate the one you're with...