gutter balls

and cocktail napkins

as an award winning writer, I've tried to maintain some standards and keep this blog from becoming just another crude Juvenalian satire, but some of you people have driven me into the gutter, the political gutter, the sexual gutter, the gutter..soooo, did you know that Elvis and I used to be friends...oh yeah...he came into a bar in Ventura one night where I was singing and we hit it off..we talked about the future and he came up on stage and did a few numbers with me..the folks in the restaurant were too drunk to realize that Elvis was singing to them...kinda like I feel when I'm blogging now..so after the gig, Elvis and I found a little corner and wrote this little song on a napkin, a prophetic song, which rings true many years after we wrote it...it's called " In the Gutter"...hope you like it, if you're not too pissed....

In the Gutter

by Presley and Von Caw

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
A poor little baby blogger is born
In the gutter
And his mama cries
'cause if there's one thing that she don't need
it's another little smart ass mouth to feed
In the gutter
in the gutter
People, don't you understand
the child needs a helping hand
or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
are we too blind to see,
do we simply turn our heads
and look the other way

Well the world turns
and a bratty little boy with a runny nose
plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the gutter
in the gutter
And his hunger burns
so he starts to roam the streets at night
and he learns how to sing
and he learns how to write
In the gutter
in the gutter
Then one night in desperation
the young man breaks away
He buys a computer, steals a domain,
makes fun of Wendy, and becomes real fam-ous
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers 'round a well hung man
face down on the keyboard with a mouse in his hand
In the gutter
As her young man ties his shoes,
on a cold and gray Chicago mornin',
another little baby child is born
In the gutter
And his mama cries...

thank you..thank you very much.....