swine before pearls...

revenge of the Channel Island Pigs!!

so..did ya hear... Newspapers are in a losing battle to retain readers and advertisers...I think I figgered out why: the News-Press! When they put the New Kids on the Block on the front page, you know there aren't any journalists in the newsroom..when they put a bunch of fat chicks from Santa Ynez Valley on the front page to chronicle their weight loss, you start to wonder who is buying these newspapers and then destroying them...now, WTF do I care what bunch of valley gorillas eat...they are trailer park trash up there..hanging out at the casino, then going to the bakery, then going to the bars...then going to the greasy restaurants owned by the casino..what do you think is gonna happen..YOU GET TOO FAT.. the Indians own you now... alcohol and lard...this is no way to live, ladies...you need to regiment your lifestyles, not stuff your fat little faces...exercise.. run on the beach..oh yeah, no beach in the valley, then have sex..I'll do each of you over 18, even the chick in the wheelchair...I guarantee after two weeks you'll look like you got Ann Coulter's eating disorder!! SKINNY heroin chic! Actually, you need some fat reserves..fat is a lubricant for the joints and is necessary for good health, unless you have some oral control/fixation issues..

clutching forks and knives..to eat their bacon....

I predict the swine flu will spread and selectively wipe out some well deserving Americans..this is all because of the mass killing of Channel Island pigs..the souls of the porkers have banded together to exact this little payback..meanwhile, I'm buying vaccine stocks!

Porky Pig: [reading from his bill] "Ch-Ch-Chumash Hotel . B-bill. Room, uh, six-sixty-five dollars. Bath. Te-te-ten dollars and fifty cents. T-t-total: a hundred-and-fifty-two-dollars and fifty cents."

Casino Hotel manager: You will, of course, pay the bill now before you leave, no?
Porky Pig: N-no - I mean, yes! M-my partner, Daffy Duck, will be r-right back. He's out c-c-c-cashing a check.

abadee abaddee..that's all folks........