sunshine of your love

big bang theory...
ok, so a reader posted some questions about sex and put undue pressure on me to answer them..who am I, Dr. Laura?? well no I'm not, I'm a man and I'm white so vote for me!! hahah!!
but seriously, the question that needs to be answered is why do people have affairs or something like that... is it a crime of convenience? is it a biological need? a psychological need? a seven year itch? boredom?..probably all of these and more....do blondes have more fun? do men have more affairs than women..well it takes two to tango, so I don't think so...whether you are a man or woman, or a man who secretly wants to be a woman, like Dale maybe, or vice-a-versa, if you seek, you shall find...
see that woman there? her name is Dagmara Domincyk and she's an actress...if I were married and she came up and asked me to have an affair with her, how would I respond...what would go through my mind?
First, I would probably swallow my tongue..then I would measure the pros and cons of such an adventure...and of course, if I'm in love with my wife, the answer would be "no"...but if I was stuck in a relationship that seemingly would never end when it certainly should have (ever been in one of those??), then I might more easily be lured into a fling with Dag...or if I bored a woman and showed her no affection after a few years, could I blame her for looking elswhere... or if a single guy hooks up with a married gal, who goes to Hell?? can unmarried people have affairs?? can midgets?? hmmmm...
so are affairs simply a measurement of how much you are in love with your spouse or mate? what is love..is it a malady that lasts for a few years and then you snap out of it? just a place to raise the kids? hmmmm...why are some women so goddam attractive that they cast a spell over you and some are just like spit on a sidewalk? hmmmmm...
is monogamy done? is polygamy a better way? how about bigamy? can you have your wife and an outside woman too? if you are a powerful male, will you seek sexual conquests moreso than a powerful woman? I suppose I could try to make a move on Meg as an experiment and see if she'd go for it, but I'm not that type of guy...and Meg's not my type of gal...but wait, have you seen Mike Self lately? she's damn foxy now!! she's growing out her hair and it's got some blondy highlights in it..why do think she did that..for me..is she sending me signals?? smoke signals maybe...hmmmmm
but the fact remains, the sex drive is the strongest of motivators..songs are sung, poetry is written, art is poured onto canvas for women....men want to plant their seed to get the most bang for the buck, and women are looking for the big bang, too....so..I...ahh..uhh, WTF did you ask me all these questions for??? I guess what I'm getting at is there are no answers, only theories, only conjecture...you see, all is fair in love and war..and music and art and biology....