hey I went shopping for groceries yesterday and slipped and fell on a banana peel on aisle #5; then I got up and smacked my head on a coconut in the produce section; then I went over to the milk section and the stock clerk spilt some 2% on me; I started crying and ran over to the meat section and grabbed a steak and some chicken breasts (that chick flew outta the store!!) and some
chicken livers, poor chickens! I'd eat a chicken's asshole I guess if they sold them! then someone threw an egg at me! so I went to the wine section and knocked over three bottles of zinfandel and for good measure one bottle of pinot noir...then the store manager walked up to me and asked me to leave and I said no way man I'm not done shopping....so we got two grocery stores in Carp and I have to split my shopping time between the two for various reasons..first of all, I don't want to look like a regular loser who always comes in to the same store to buy food; second, there's a few checkout girls who scare me..they're mean and look at me with disdain and disgust, like I'm a killer or something..hey I'm not, underneath the make-up I'm normal! but it's like they have all the power, like if they refused to check me out, I'd starve to death!! I avoid these gals like the plague...so I have to sometimes go all the way into Santa Barbara to shop, like at Scolari's..good store and since I go only once in a while, it's like I'm a tourist so I don't get any attitude from the check-out ladies..it's like they don't remember me..it's like a one night stand!!!
and I also like that homeless place Tri-Counties Produce...
and of course there's Trader Joe's..they are pretty nice there and I'm not at all afraid of them, they are all just college kids..at Trader Joe's, I'm in charge.... but still, there's something about those checkout girls....
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