hung upside down....

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
did you see the front page of Saturday's News-Press?
the one published by a wealthy divorcee who has won awards for her animal rights efforts. She gets kudos from the National Humane Society, who gives awards to those wealthy folks who give them money, then they hold luncheons to hand out those awards, then they pose for pictures so the pictures can appear in the owner's paper.. and...well, you get the idea... oh, and I must clarify that the local Santa Barbara Humane Society is not affiliated with the National HS or Wendy, ie, their hands are clean and they do good work!! so give your money to them instead of the big one...got it??
anyway, the owner is Wendy McCuckoo and she always has an animal story in some form or fashion, especially if there's abuse involved....except on Saturday, something changed..the story seemed to encourage abuse!! I was shocked, surprised, and annoyed!!
I don't know, maybe she's in the Indian ocean on her yacht smoking dope with Nipper and Michael Douglas's son, but the story on page one was so disturbing that I had trouble reading it, or maybe it was just a poorly written alliteration..but there it was, a page one picture of a TURKEY or a really big cock being paraded around by possible illegal aliens before they sacrificed it!! I kid you not...look at the picture!! Those dudes are walking proudly down main street, holding the big bird upside down by the feet getting ready to let its blood on the alter to the Mexican Gods of Gambling ie, the Chumash Casino...
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.
but really, how would you like your dog to be handling this way, carried upside down the street by her feet by four laughing Mexicans with shaved heads...these people are savages!! racists everywhere should be outraged!! and what does that say about Wendy?? how did she allow this story? was it written by a union member? that would explain it... what about all that animal rights stuff..was it just for show? and where is #69, playing with her pussy?? or the PETA gals, playing with their pussies? or the Humane Society?? where are they?? or Immigration and Naturalization?? where are they... would everyone please stop playing with their pussies, we have an animal crisis here!!
I don't know what's going on but as a paying customer of the paper, I expect much more and this gaffe may be the last straw...
Wendy, you should be ashamed of yourself and how do you think your pal Keiko, the orca star of "Free Willy," would feel?? there are thousands of animals now turning their lonely eyes to you for answers, and now I, as a free range mammal, join them.....