guest editorial by E. J. Fudd
the end is near..that is how Twavis Armstrong started his wast editowial for the News-Pwess..as usual, the piece was full of bawoney and some nutty end words like: Santa Bawbawa may cwean house; the incumbants are afwaid; turn in your bawwot if you ever got one; the city bumbles mail-in ewection; typical stuff Wendy wikes to hear but reawwy Twav, you were sounding like a broken record, broken record broken record broken record broken record broken record broken record...so I'm not surpwised that Twavis Armstrong has left his comfy job brown-nosing Wendy McCuckoo..she paid him well, couple hundwed thou a year; gave him his own wadio show; and what did he do for eight years as the editorial page diwector? Nothing! The News-Pwess puff piece called him an award winning this and that and the other..but we know better...any award Twavis got was bought and paid for by Wendy!! SHE OWNED HIM!!!!
the city gov't needs a watchdog or two, but with Twavis they got a delusional wumdog with fweas...and between his and Wendy's obsession with Mayor Blum and Hewene Schneider, the writing became nonsensical pweaching about their kitchen wemodels, emails and twips to Washington, bordering on pathological...some wightwingers in the community sucked this up like they sucked up Dr. Laura's wamblings....it was clear that Twavis was wunning out things to say and close to the end of his News-Pwess gig...and maybe even seeing the fix he was in carrying mad Wendy's water for so long...
Twavis made up stories about the city government, the city workers, the unions and all the enemies that he perceived were out to get the News-Pwess..and when he wasn't wepeating himself in editorials, he'd write about animals and how government is wesponsible for their demise, too. The central theme was that government was the enemy..if you worked for the gov, met your husband or wife in the gov't, paid taxes or bought a home while working for the gov't, raised kids while a gov't employee, then you must be unethical...he was actually twying to damage a worker's right to make a living!!! The NewsPwess bought ink by the barrel and cut down a lot of twees for printing, but bloggers don't need ink or twees, just bits and bytes, which are free and sustainable!
Yes, day after day Twavis would point out the foibles of gov't often making up stories and printing lies under the full backing of Wendy and Nipper...The lies were printed without retwactions or the ability of the target to respond diwectly and the News-Pwess continued to make up its own reality, appealing to like-minded crazies and trying to promote them, from Julia DiSieno at the Animal Wescue Team to supporting Dale Farcisco's bid for mayor to teaming with Wandy Van Wolkswinkel to try to buy the election...accountablity has been hiding behind Wendy's money facade at the News-Pwess for too long...conservative sugar mommies and daddies get soft-spined guys like Twavis to do their dirty work..and offer protection..money, cars until they cut them loose. They use money for control.Twavis helped Wandy Van Wolfswinkel do his dirty work..Wandy is the primary sugar daddy for the YES on B slate: Francisco, Self and Hotchkiss, who swear they won't take money from "special intewests" like unions. The News-Pwess hatred of unions (empowered working class folks) is well documented and SEIU was blamed for nearly every ill in the city. Of course, this is nonsense. Nobody is being bought by the union. If the union gives $10,000 dollars to a candidate and there are 600 members of the union, that boils down to about $17 per member to a pro-labor candidate..hardly an attempt to buy influence, rather a show of support. Now, when a sugar daddy or mommy spends NEARLY ONE MILLION DOLLARS to influence an election, red flags should go up. But only the flag of yellow journalism went up at the News-Pwess..with Twavis gone, will it continue? Does it matter anymore.. The internet killed the newspaper star like video killed the radio star...Wendy's investment in the News-Pwess was a bad business move and she still hasn't figured out how to improve her online content, only choosing to charge money for it.The wave of online competition left her in its wake: Daily Sound, EdHat, Noozhawk, bloggers, Ventura County Star, even the Independent! All are inter-active and not afwaid of differing opinions, mostly. The News-Pwess is afraid of differing opinions..a tightly contwolled atmosphere that stifles growth...ie, the News-Pwess is pretty much dead..the killers still lingering around, but fading one by one. Dr. Waura weft under a cwoud of controversy and the NewsPwess never mentioned why!
there's more to the story and I will depend on the internet to get the truth, not the News-Pwess..meantime Twavis, the separation from Wendy, while painful, can only do both of you some good...so you and Dr. Waura are gone gone..weally gone...Good widdence to bad wubbish....two down, two to go
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